Fig. 1. A typical donkey.The first rule of the Donkey Game is that you do not talk about the Donkey...
Just kidding. The first rule is that if a donkey is spotted, the first person to call it correctly gets one point. Loudest is best.
Fig. 2. Baby donkeys should be extra points, but they're not.In the case of two donkeys the correct call is "Donkeydonkey" (Fig. 2). Two points are given to the fastest spotter.
The rest of the rules of the Donkey Game*, for posterity
because they need to be written down:
*that is, the rules as understood by the author at press time. Disputes will be settled in the comments.
A mule, called correctly, is one-half a point, because it is one-half donkey.
A horse called a mule is one half point also because it is half right.
A donkey called a mule is one-half point for similar reasons.
A horse, called correctly, is zero points.
A mule, called incorrectly, is minus one-half, because the spotter is only half wrong.
A horse called incorrectly is minus one.
Anything else** called incorrectly is minus 20 or it might as well be because you'll never recover from a mistake like that
After dark, correct calls are doubled but penalties remain the same.
**includes cows, pigs, boulders, and other things that don't resemble donkeys.
That is all.
The rest of the rules of the Donkey Game*, for posterity
because they need to be written down:
*that is, the rules as understood by the author at press time. Disputes will be settled in the comments.
A mule, called correctly, is one-half a point, because it is one-half donkey.
A horse called a mule is one half point also because it is half right.
A donkey called a mule is one-half point for similar reasons.
A horse, called correctly, is zero points.
A mule, called incorrectly, is minus one-half, because the spotter is only half wrong.
A horse called incorrectly is minus one.
Anything else** called incorrectly is minus 20 or it might as well be because you'll never recover from a mistake like that
After dark, correct calls are doubled but penalties remain the same.
**includes cows, pigs, boulders, and other things that don't resemble donkeys.
That is all.
Holly,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, thank you for committing these rules to written form. There are just a few minor corrections to the rules; I have pasted yours here and assigned them numbers for convenience's sake. Let me know what you think.
Rule 1a. The first rule is that if a donkey is spotted, the first person to call it correctly gets one point.
Rule 1b. If two donkeys the correct call is "Donkeydonkey". Two points are given to the fastest spotter.***More generally, if N donkeys are spotted the correct call is N repetitions of "Donkey". If a person or persons start calling while another is emitting a string of "donkeys", points will be divided equally from the time that simultaneous calling began. This rule comes in handy when three people pass a donkey farm, as has happened in the past.
Rule 2a. A hybrid of a donkey and another equid species (henceforth, 'mule') , called correctly, is one-half a point, because it is one-half donkey.
Rule 2b. A donkey called a mule is one-half point for similar reasons.
Rule 3a. Any member of the equid family without donkey genes (henceforth, 'horse') called incorrectly is minus one.
Rule 3b. A horse called a mule is ***minus one half point also because ***it is only half wrong. The glass is half empty, dammit.
Rule 3c. A horse, called correctly, is zero points.
Rule 3d. A mule, called incorrectly, is minus one-half, because the spotter is only half wrong.
Rule 4. ****Any individual, animal, plant, and/or real or intangible object that is not a member of the family Equidae, called incorrectly, is minus 3 points. This includes but is explicitly not limited to cattle, rocks, and old people.
Rule 5. After dark, correct calls are doubled but penalties remain the same.